Mandie

aahhhh. Im fucking going crazy. But im getting a new car by sunday. I told a few people im giving them 100 dollars to who ever finds the car i want. NNIIICCCEEE.
I hate the fact that after not calling this guy i like since friday i was dumb and called him today. I HATE IT.
Damn it.
Im going to find a cuddle buddy. lol. Someone who isnt gonna try and get in my damn pants. Alot of guys try to do that. And its fucking gay.
I hung out with my step sister and her two friends all day. It was fun im not gonna lie. I did her hair. Its cute.
I redid mine today too. SWEET.
Ive been a chain smoker today. AAHHH. Thats whats in my head. I didnt call this guy for a while because i dont want to like him. And then i was dumb and did today. Only for a sec cuz i just had to tell him something REALLY quick.
But shit. I still suck.
I had a job interview today too. I hope it went ok but i dont know. I think i bombed it unfortunatly. It was alot of what would you do in this situation questions. And it fucking sucked. I hope that i get that job though.
UUUMMMMM
Shit. Someone make me feel better. haha.
Ive been taking pain releive sleeping pills every night for like two weeks cuz i cant sleep. ha.
Damnit
People keep telling me all this shit about dan. I hate it. I want him to go away. I want everything about him to just disapear. I really hate him now. I really hate him alot. He just keeps lying. Im so glad im not with him ne more. But shit just keeps coming up. I hear alot about his girlfriend too. Which also sux. Its not good stuff either. ha. Fuck
He mad me crazy. I hate it. Im still trying to get used to being single. Its hard though. Well not hard. I dont know. Its hard to not think about him. Its not anything like oh i miss him. Just thoughts about him and how i hate him and all the shit he put me through. ANd still is putting me through. but i dont want him back. I dont miss him at all. Well i miss the good times but how often did we really have good times. Seriously. Everyone is telling me now howits good that im not with him. None of my friends liked him and now everyone is telling me how much better i could have done. But i didnt know that. I wish i would have. THat relationship was....FUCKED UP. I hope he never does any of the shit to any other girl that he did to me. I dont know. It still drives me crazy though. I just miss being close to someone. Having someone their to talk to everynight. well atleast when i was important enough to talk to or not be ditched and shit. Fuck.
FUck this.

Im single. Sleep deprived because of an awesome weekend. Im moving on. Enjoying my life again. Being the old mandie again. NICE.
Life is getting better.

so i havnt updated in about a month but i doesnt really matter because absalutly nothing has happened. Im not starting school till winter i still have the two lame ass jobs only now i dont have a car right now. It broke down on the high way when i was on my way to work. Sweet huh. I sold it to the junk yard for 120 dollars. Sweet. Annnddd. Me and dan fight again. Its stupid. And pisses me off. And i hate relying on people also. But im getting a new car. And i really really really hate relying on people if i didnt say that already. Considering for now i keep having to find rides to work. Its getting annoying. Really annoying. I wish i was starting school this fall but im not. I think that means i suck. ALot. Dan goes back tommorow. And we`re supposed to hang out tommorow but i dont think we are. Fuck it. Fuck alot of stuff. Damnit. Someone call me and hang out with me. I have no life ne more outside work. I dont even hang out with dan ne more. Im not important enough and i guess i just dont fit into his scheadule. WHAT THE FUCK.
Stupid.

ummmm....
so who wants to give me a new job. One thats cooler than ne thing. Awesome.
Thatd be great.
I hate being tired...all the time.
I miss being thirteen. Or atleast 14-15.
Those were the days. Let me tell you.
Ive been thinking about those days alot latly. Mainly cuz im done with highschool and i miss the highschool days already. Hmmmmmm.........
THIRTEEN.
I had alot of friends then. And we always said how bored we were. But we were never bored. We always were doing something. Always going somewhere on our awesome bikes or just walking. I wasnt fat then either. Sweet.
I need to walk.
To bad i work to much. Thats why im getting fat. Fuck work. Its making me fat.
BBBLLLLLLAAAAAHHHHH.
Im gonna tell my managers im quiting because work is making me fat...
HAHAHAHHAHAHAHHA
Yeah right.
Bye.
<3.

So i hate george of the jungle. Im tired. I start college soon..well maybe in the winter...i dont know yet.
My birthday is in 4 days. Im excited about that. I hate work.
I like the fact that its rainy and cloudy today.
I like the fact that im super.

My life just constantly twindles downward....

how fucking lame.
right?

One of these days...maybe ill ACTUALLY matter to someone. One day my life will be the most important thing to someone. But i dont see that happening any time soon. So ill just miserable and deal with someone telling me that although he doesnt mean it.
whatever.

i have a myspace now so i now i suck because im just one more idiot that has one
http://www.myspace.com/mandieis_awesome

You wanna know whats funny? When someone tells you they`ll never hurt or leave you, they always do. Isnt that sweet?

So. Today was a really bad day. My life just gets worse sometimes i guess. Me and dan are done for good. He left me at the carnival and walked away calling me a bitch and telling me to find my own ride home in front of his whole family. We havnt been together since the first week of june but theirs not even a friend ship ne more. Nothing. Then i get to my house and it only gets worse. Whatever. Today(the 3rd) would have been 1 year and 8 months. Today also has made it 16 years since my mom dying. Its lame . I didnt even think about it. For a long time. It sux. I want her to be around more than any thing. Excpecially tonight cuz of what happened. The concert was good though. Shinedown was my favorite id have to say. Blllllaaaaaahhhh
Fuck you.

I hate waiting. And being bored. Which is exactly what i am. I wanna cuddle. Its sad too and the fact that i want arbys really sux alot. Food sounds good. I havnt heard about the other job yet. I think im gonna call tommorow in the morning on it. They were supposed to call by today saying either i didnt get it or yes you got it. They said EITHER way. So im hoping that i got it or im gonna cry....ALOT.

So today i had ajob interview at Millenium Digital, its like a nextel customer service, fixing phones, ect. place. I think i did a really good job and i have sales experience already and i really want this job. It would be 9 dollars an hour and like 25 hours a week so i would be set if got this fucking job!!! And its really close to my house! I really really really want this job. Sooooo this sounds sooo fucking lame but pray for me or whatever you guys do!!

blah blah blah
my eye is twitching. It wont stop and it has been for like....a week. I hate it.
I like the fact that its warm and that i dont have to work all weekend. I dont know what im doing yet though. Something good i hope that has to do with friends. That sounds good.
eeeeeeeeeeehhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh
realtionships. Enough said
..............................................
Im never getting married(im watching devorce court on my tv...)

So either im really lame or i just dont have friends minus two that had to work didnt show and didnt call and tell me they couldnt make it or anything to my open house. My best friend cece and jesse were their and of course dan and two other freinds but none of my other friends that said they would be their didnt even come. Wow..thats great. I was gonna have people over later tonight too but fuck it the ones that were at my open house can come over and the two that had to work but fuck any one else. I guess i know who my friends are though. It kinda hurts alot though cuz i thought that my friends would be their. One friend that i really dont even hang out with just know her at school even showed on her way out of town just to bring me a card. It was very nice of her! But family wise my open house turned out nice. The families were segregated which i knew would happen and probly was a good thing. But oh well. I had fun. My parents did a good job!

Im single. I think id like to keep it that way for a while?? I want to be single. I do wanna cuddle though...
haha
edit
oh yeah. My open house incase you forgot is THIS SUNDAY June 11th from 2-5 at McGraft Park.

So....I GRADUATED!!!!! YAAAYYYY FOR ME!!!!!!!!!!
Im soo happy and i did it and that makes me happy!
Now its time for the after parties!

So school is done...graduation is May 31st and i did it...how exciting. My open house is June 11th at McGraft Park from 2-4 incase any one would like to attend that and that would just be sweet. My dad gave me a laptop for graduation. My iternet works also...occasionally i get kicked off but hey i cant complain. He even paid for the anti virus programs and all that...super. Hes a swell guy. Its been really nice but i dont have gas this week so i couldnt really go any where except for saturday me and dan took our lovley dog tbone to play with his daddy(dans cousins dog) out at bear lake. It was really funny and also quite fun. My dad is trying to get me to join some type of military? He said navy or Air force....i dont know about that. Ive thought about though. If i cant get my collage paid for in financial aid...hello military. But yeah. Ne ways...
Life is alright except a few fall outs here and their and a few downfalls...but im done with school..although i forget sometimes. hah

So Bush now wants to send the National Guard to the border of Mexico...hmmm..Thats sweet. Considering the military is as thin as its ever been and now he wants to waste time on the boarder? How come this just became an issue. I think hes trying to make himself the least liked president...maybe. I highly doubt my dad will get sent though and if he did....thatd be fuckin gay.
Other than that. Grey Anatomy: WONDERFUL. Im sad the season is over though and i cant wait till the next one comes out. I just know when it does. Lovley. The season finale was on for two hours this evening.
But yeah...had a game today. Holland Christian. We lost. We were loosing in the beging and then we came back and were winning. And then.........we fuckin lost 9-10 and we should have won. Thats dumb. But ne ways.
Oh yeah....hahaha...so im getting a new roomate.
Im tired.

so i must suck at life or something?

So today dan bought my very first fish that is all my own!!! Its a beda fish and its red, pink, and has a little purple in him. I named it fired. Im excited cuz he keeps his little fins flaired out and looks all sweet. I love him already!